You approach a stranger at a meeting,
seminar or industry conference with you
hand outstretched and say: “Hi. My name is ...” And you’re off and
running. Do you know how to connect with
and build good relationships?
Preparation, a focused agenda, active
listening, and an adventuresome
attitude are the keys to successfully
meeting and greeting a roomful of
strangers. Remember, nothing
ventured, nothing gained. Here are eight
conversation tips:
1.Come Prepared
Have two or three openers that you
can use with a variety of people you
meet. That way, you won’t fumble for
something to say when you first meet
someone. Some examples:
"What drew you here today?
"Have you seen any good movies lately?"
"What did you find particularly
interesting about the presentation?"
2.Create an Agenda
People often dread small talk
situations because they say, “I don’t
have anything to talk about” or “I don’t
know what to talk about.” Actually the
problem is that there have too much to
talk about---an entire universe of
topics---not nothing to say. Narrow down your conversation options
by making two lists. On the “get” list
put who you want to meet or learn more
about. On your “give” list put your
areas of expertise, hobbies interesting
information people you know, etc.
3.Listen and Learn
Once you’ve asked your opening
question, listen patiently to the
person’s answer. Allow the
speaker to elaborate without rushing to
jump in. Be thinking, “What can I give
to this person? What’s on my
agenda?”
4.Focus Your Attention
Avoid the canned nod-and-smile
approach with eyes roaming the room to
see who else is there. Continue to ask
engaging questions. If you’re friendly
and genuinely curious, others will feel
comfortable talking with you.
5.Find Common Ground
Only after the person has told “his
story”, then share your thoughts and
experiences. If you find something you
both can relate to, that establishes a
bond that can lead to further exchanges.
Be open to the magic of where the
conversation can take you.
6.Ask for Their Help
Most people enjoy helping others.
Therefore what is it that you want to
“get”? Use your agenda to find someone
who has written an article you’ve
enjoyed, or can introduce you to the
speaker, or give you ideas for your
upcoming project.
7.Show Appreciation
At some point, you will feel that it’s
time to move on because the discussion
is winding down or perhaps the event is
starting. Don’t leave abruptly. Rather, acknowledge the conversation
and the help you’ve received.
“It's been good to talk with you. Thanks for those job or client leads.”
8.End with the Next Steps
If you want to continue the
relationship, conclude with what you're
going to do next or what you expect of
the other person.
"I'll send you the article we’ve been
talking about."
"Let’s set up a time when we can get
together to talk further."
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